Enduring Mentor Relationships
Getting and keeping a mentor can be challenging but also rewarding. Like anything worthwhile, it takes work. So, once you and your mentor have committed to working together, hopefully you both want your relationship to succeed. You want to establish an enduring relationship.
It all starts with the matching process which can take some time and attention. Usually, it just doesn’t happen organically. In previous blogs we have discussed how to match skills, interests, goals, and availability. For example, consider qualities that you want in a mentor:
Someone who has knowledge or skill in an area that a mentee doesn’t have
Someone who is a good listener
Someone who has a genuine interest in developing the skills of others
Someone who is trustworthy
As you work together with your mentor over time, hopefully you will get to know each other and spend time setting goals. Your goals may be short or long term, but it helps to be clear on what you want to achieve and how your mentor can add value. Having clear goals and an agreement as to how and when you will meet is a critical step to having a positive relationship with your mentor.
Your role as the mentee is to use the time you spend with your mentor effectively. Prior to each session, craft some questions you want to ask your mentor. Ask for advice on specific challenges you are facing. Share the positives you are experiencing with your mentor which will encourage you both to continue working together. Be curious. Having a mentor is a wonderful learning experience for you so take full advantage of it.
Be sure to keep your appointments. Of course, there will be times when you need to reschedule a mentoring session but give your mentor plenty of notice. Take good notes. Follow through with any assignments your mentor gives you. Like any positive relationship, both parties have to keep promises and value the other person’s time.
As you work together, your goal is to build an enduring relationship with your mentor. This takes time and effort. Each of you must commit to the goals you set. Each of you must make an investment and contributions to build a relationship where positive outcomes are possible.
Be grateful for the time and work your mentor gives you. Mentors are usually quite busy themselves, so honor their time and attention and listen to them.
Let’s face it, there is no reason to invest in the mentoring process unless your goal is to build an enduring relationship. Consider making this your first goal and see what happens.