It’s Not Personal
“Did you ever feel disrespected?” It’s the opening line of a monologue written by a colleague, Mike Kimmel, actor, author, and audition coach.
His point—people who are disrespectful to you don’t even respect themselves, so don’t take it personally. In fact, the disrespect they show you is proof that you’re not like them. You don’t fit into their disrespectful world view. You’re not their kindred spirit. Take it as a compliment.
This really is good advice on a personal level. We’ve all encountered someone who’s abrupt, rude, or even nasty with you as you are going about your day. These situations are frustrating, irritating, even maddening, especially if you get trapped in their behavior. We owe it to ourselves to rise above the fray and realize they are not worth the effort.
We move on if these are casual encounters. What if, however, these are encounters that occur in the workplace. It may not be personal, but it has a huge impact on performance and morale.
Leaders take note—disrespectful encounters among coworkers must be addressed, no matter how slight the issue seems. They can be microaggressions that can lead to harassment. Don’t ignore it as people having fun [at someone else’s expense].
More importantly, disrespectful behavior by leaders can result in toxic workplaces. Remember, people don’t leave jobs and organizations, they leave their bosses and managers. They leave, or become disengaged, when they
try to speak up but are ignored
wait to be recognized but aren’t
lose trust in managers and leadership
At a community event, potential leaders were asked what engagement meant. Without missing a beat, each talked about getting people to volunteer, having social events, and ways to entice participation [offering prizes and food]. Not one mentioned:
talking with and not at members
asking for or soliciting members ideas
not interrupting when people are talking (as some leaders in that organization do)
acting on people’s feedback
creating an environment where people want to participate
Leaders, here’s a challenge. Make it personal. Go out of your way to create an engaging work environment with your employees, one where everyone feels included and wants to contribute.