Myths About Workplace Conflict

Let’s dispel some common myths about conflict during April—Workplace Conflict Awareness Month:

1.    Run from conflict. If you address it, it will drain your energy, but if you ignore it, it will go away. Nothing could be further from the truth. Ignoring conflict will cause hidden problems to grow larger. Acknowledge and address conflict so ill won’t fester. Embrace conflict and you might find some interesting results occur.

2.    Difficult people are almost always the cause of conflict. People’s behavior, not the people themselves, can cause difficulty and be the underlying cause of problems, but it’s not the only cause.

Failing to set realistic expectations is a big contributor. If people don’t understand what expected, confusion and conflict can result. Set expectations early and often. Let people know what the job entails—its functions and tasks—and what success in the role looks like.

Changes in the workplace is another contributing factor. Change is uncomfortable, but we all have a choice about how we react, so manage it effectively.

3.    The problem at the root of a conflict is usually obvious. People often assume that they understand a problem, but it’s human nature to jump to conclusions. Central to managing and resolving conflict is identifying and acknowledging the problem.

This means good conversations skills—asking the right questions and practicing active listening. Use both encouraging skills—which helps others elaborate—and reflecting skills—that allow the opportunity to restate in your own words what you’ve hear the other person say.

4.    There are always winners and losers. True, if you follow the theory of position-based bargaining and take a stand, but it won’t resolve anything.

Focusing on interests—needs, desires and outcomes—is more effective. Be able to articulate what your interests are and explain why they are important. Then separate your position from your interest. Making your interests come alive and considering the other person’s interests will move the discussion away from positions.

Uncover mutual interests which helps everyone to make informed decisions and be better equipped to create options to resolve the conflict.

5.    Managers must intervene and resolve the conflict. While managers are often caught in the middle, it doesn’t mean they own the problem. Team members own the conflict, and they should solve it. Empowering them to do so is motivating. Employees need the freedom and authority to solve their own problems. Don’t stifle their good ideas.

Let’s celebrate Workplace Conflict Awareness Month by encouraging everyone to focus on positive conflict resolution in their organizations. Please consider sharing this post with your network so we can spread the word that we can all positively address workplace conflict.